I hate wind chimes

I hate wind chimes.

I hate their hideous, rhythm-less tinkling, a discordant chorus of metallic noise sprayed violently into every nearby ear.

If you think hanging wind chimes is a good use of your limited time on earth, you are an IMPOLITE JERK.  You are OFFENDING PEOPLE.

Why do you feel it necessary to produce noise?  You probably drive with your stereo up, hold boring conversations at the top of your lungs, and you probably also own a yappy dog, because MAKING NOISE IS SO GREAT!

What happens if there is silence?

Does silence make your head explode?

Now there’s a sound I’d like to hear.

I hate wind chimes huge wind chimes

We found these bad boys at Molbak’s – for just $450-some dollars you can be the biggest wind chime asshole on the block. No, the whole town!


  1. bombayblue52 says:

    I hate them, too. I think I am beginning to hate people who hang them as much as I do the wind chimes. WTF ever happened to listening to the wind in the trees, the birds chirping, children laughing, etc.? No, these jerks need “jingle-jangle” – clinkety-clank” because the world just isn’t noisy enough for them. And, it is just tough poopies if you don’t like their noise as much as they do. It is all about THEM, doncha’ know! Note to wind chime hangers: Put them in your own house, in front of an oscillating fan. Better yet, you thoughtless morons, buy a wind chime CD and play it until your little hearts are content. Must you disturb the peace of an ENTIRE neighborhood? Don’tcha know your wind chime noise pollution doesn’t stop at YOUR property line?

  2. Krissy Peterson says:

    I HATE WIND CHIMES. I cannot stand them or the inconsiderate people who have them. After many windy nights in my new house I finally told my neighbors I can’t sleep and THANK GOD they took them down. YAYYYYYYY. #hatewindchimesforever

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